The Art of Surrender

The late Irish poet/philosopher, John O'Donohue, wrote elegantly about "surrender" in his essay "The Cry of Our Times: To Awaken Beauty". "Awakening and surrender: they frame each day and each life; between them the journey where anything can happen, the beauty and the frailty".

When we awaken to something, we surrender that which existed before. We surrender a state of anxiety when we awaken a contemplative mind and vice versa.

In March it will be six years since we moved from Arcata, California, to our current home in Southwest Colorado. When we moved I was following a vision that was based on the work I was doing at the time, Sound Liberation. My vision was to grow and expand that work from our home here. In spite of my best efforts it didn't work out and amazingly enough I find myself in my third year working at the Montezuma County Health Department as the Tobacco Education Program Director with very little time to pursue any other interests. I won't say that I let go of my dream but rather it was wrenched from my tight grasp.

A few months ago I began noticing a shift in myself and I realized I had finally surrendered my whole dream. Completely let it go. Finished. And awakening to a lot of joy and gratitude in the love and beauty I find in my present life. I have been contemplating this shift and one day, during my meditation, I remembered that several years ago in Arcata I had a little deck of "Angel Cards" that I would sometimes "draw" out of. I threw out the "surrender" and "obedience" cards. At the time I associated those concepts with being oppressed and I certainly didn't need to surrender to NOBODY, thank you very much.

That was a long way from where I came, growing up with an innate feeling for and understanding of "Thy Will Be Done" as a very deep and basic prayer and the essence of surrender. Somewhere through the years that shifted as I grew into myself more and my ideas of who I am and what I wanted to make of my life formed.

I realize I am coming full circle and deepening my understanding and taking this practice of surrender and "Thy will be done" to another level. A kind friend and mentor told me that "obedience" translates as deep listening. I like that. I'm understanding that to surrender my will is to surrender my will the my Godself will and enter into co-creation with myself.

The journey continues. I like growing older and I'm sure enjoying my life.

Ciao